2010-07-14

小弟劣作 懇請賜教


I wrote this story when I was in S5. Please feel free to give comments. Thanks a million.





Question: Yesterday, you handed in your English homework to Mr. Chan, but he told you that he could not find it. This morning, you handed in your Chinese homework, but it was missing again. What was happening? Write a story, ending with this sentence: I was happy as the mystery had been solved, and that my teachers now believed I had done my homework.




Did my homework have feet? Who would pilfer an exercise book? A series of questions flashed across my mind, whereas I still couldn't figure out why my homework was missing again and again.


That night, it was miserably cold. When everybody was sound asleep, I tossed and turned. Whenever I closed my eyes, the dead silence conjured up the picture of being scolded fiercely by Mr. Chan. All of a sudden, I heard a woman mumbling to herself outside my bedroom. Who could she be? What should I do?

Out of curiosity, I summoned up the courage to walk out of my bedroom inch by inch on tiptoe, my heart beating faster and faster and my teeth chattering. Louder and louder, nearer and nearer, her voice chilled me to the bone.

As I opened the door with my cold and trembling hand, its creaks echoed eerily and I felt a cold shiver pass through me. I could not believe my eyes, my face turning pale! It... it was my grandmother who died last month. She was holding my homework.

"Chris, why don't you work hard? Why do you always make mistakes in your homework? Why are you obsessed with computer games? You should go to Hell with me! Your homework is no longer important," roared my grandmother with a crumpled grimace.

The smell of a cold sweat crept into my nostrils. "No… No… Please don't. I promise I'll try my best to do my homework and I won't let you down. I'll spend every evening studying," I begged her, hoping that she would forgive me. My eyes blurred with tears, I saw her silhouette gradually disappearing from sight. It was not until she had completely vanished that I dared to let out a sigh and breathed puffs of white smoke.

Next day, Mr. Chan asked me to talk to him after school. "Is... is my homework missing again?" I stammered, worrying that my grandmother would say hi to me in the toilet next time. "No, don't worry. I found all your homework this morning. Sorry for blaming you yesterday. Please accept my apology," Mr. Chan gulped. I was happy as the mystery had been solved, and that my teachers now believed I had done my homework.



14 則留言:

  1. 很好的文章 ,又有情節,仲可以學英文添
    [版主回覆07/14/2010 23:02:00]Thanks a lot. I hope you love the setting and the twist.

    回覆刪除
  2. 你之前咪post過囉~我記得架!
    估唔到中五既作文題目都咁鬼得意(其實我想講幼稚 =.=),不過kenji你簡直化腐朽為神奇,有好多英文生字我都唔識,要學英文啦!
    話說回來,快d上黎我blog!新書已出版,請支持!
    [版主回覆07/15/2010 18:15:00]Post 過? Really??? I don't think so. I just wrote film reviews in the past. 作文題目幼稚? HAHAHA... It is an HKCE English Exam qusetion. Wa... congratulations! You are a gifted writer.

    回覆刪除
  3. 我講得唔清楚,你唔係在你blog發表的。 記唔記得創作人在盂蘭節曾舉行「鬼故寫作大賽」,只有你一個人寫。你寫既就係呢篇囉。不過你係創兄blog度post的那一篇好像沒有你現在post的這一篇那麼艱深呢。
    [版主回覆07/15/2010 22:52:00]Oh I see... right!!! I always think you are a smart boy. Some changes
    were made when I posted it in his blog. My band 3 students won't understand the words, so I simplified it.

    回覆刪除
  4. 寫得好喎,特別有個咁"行" 嘅題目做結尾都可以寫成咁,好唔錯了!我一篇自己中五寫嘅英文作文都無印象了..... 不過我英文無你咁好 (係超好!) ,唔記得就算了...... 
    [版主回覆07/15/2010 22:54:00]Thank you so much. My students' stories are usually not very creative. They tend to write about some naughty students playing a trick on him.

    回覆刪除
  5. No wonder you choose to be an English teacher!
    [版主回覆07/22/2010 11:50:00]I do love the English Language. However, when I graduated from HKU, I taught at a band 3 school and I developed my interest in movies and badminton. Not until I started teaching at a very good school last year did I use this composition to teach the imaginative story writing skills in my lesson.

    回覆刪除
  6. Honestly, it is very impressive. As a S5 student (at that moment), you really had a very good command of English. You could handle a lot of vocab. which indeed only very few of local students can do so. If I were a marker, I would give you Grade A. Cheers ~
    [版主回覆07/22/2010 11:58:00]Thanks so much. Frankly speaking, I spent lots of hours and wrote this at home. However, my S2 student wrote the story during the two lessons. Of course, a few changes have been made to both stories so that all sentences are grammatically correct. Anyway, I think learning English can be great fun.

    回覆刪除
  7. Frankly, it's great!! I like horror story!! I did write some stories of such topic and posted it on my blog . Pls comment if you are free. :D
    [版主回覆07/22/2010 12:33:00]Interested! Thanks for your visit.

    回覆刪除
  8. Dear blogmates: Time to say goodbye to the hustle and bustle of the city and the malicious gossips. I really need a vacation and Switzerland is my ideal getaway. Let's chat when I come back at the very beginning of August. 3D 反斗奇兵3           4.5 / 5 唐山大地震                 4 / 5



    海洋天堂                  3.5 / 5

    回覆刪除
  9. Actually, I just came back from Swiss last week. The  temperature is nice and lovely although the flowers are not as beautiful as in Spring. Anyway, hope you enjoy your vacation peacefully  ~
    [版主回覆07/23/2010 13:38:00]Will you share your pics in your blog? Thanks!

    回覆刪除
  10. I wish I could, but I am told that I'd better not to post pics on internet. Yet, I would like to share with you privately. haha
    [版主回覆07/23/2010 18:22:00]Great... you may consider posting those without you and your friends, only showing us the mother nature. Anyway, chat later. Thanks!

    回覆刪除
  11. 我有睇你篇作文, 但係我就唔評論啦! 因為已經有好多高手係度., 哈哈...
    希望你SWITZERLAND之旅愉快而回...
    也希望工作上的不快 快快遠離你吧...!
     
    [版主回覆07/31/2010 20:24:00]Thank you so much. I have come back... It is a very important joruney. I can really forget about the downs!!! ^^

    回覆刪除
  12. Of course, the English is very good for a S5 student.  After all, it is rather uncommon for a boy majoring in English to grab a first hon in Arts Faculty; particularly hard among a bunch of competent gals.  
    [版主回覆11/19/2010 22:54:00]Thank you for your compliments. I often asked the professors questions after school and so they remembered me haha. After all, the result is not solely and mechanically determined by GPA. Teachers' comments are important too.

    回覆刪除
  13. I am your 師兄, and that's why I know how difficult it was to achieve that. In my time, academic attainment was solely determined by one's examination results, and I graduated with almost the worst result in the Faculty of Arts, haha!  BTW, were you specialised in Eng lit or linguistics?
    [版主回覆11/20/2010 12:01:00]Wow what a coincidence! I specialized in English Linguistics. I took 5 Eng Ling courses and 3 Eng Lit courses. (P.S. When I graduated, the system changed. Everyone had the title English Studies no matter how many Ling or Lit courses we took.) So are you also an English teahcer?

    回覆刪除
  14. Not really, I am not an English teacher, but just a guy who loves learning English.   I only took linguistic subjects when I was an undergrad.   I have no talent for English novels or poetry, nor any theoretical stuff in phonetics/syntax . Oh, did you also take any other subjects other than English?
    [版主回覆11/20/2010 14:38:00]Linguistics and psychology ^^

    回覆刪除